Saturday, September 27, 2008

Wag n' Walk Outcome

Robert, Quanah(my nephew), Oscar, Link, and I woke up at 7AM for our eventful day. We all got to the Rancho Simi Park for the 3rd annual Wag n' Walk at 8AM. I signed Link and myself in for our 3 mile walk then went and got the continental breakfast for the rest of our party. Brenna came around 8:30 AM and kept us company and took pictures of cute dogs. There was SO many dogs there with their owners all ready to walk for a special cause. I know it doesn't beat cancer walks, but it was important to the dog lovers in our community.

At 9AM everybody took off on to the 3 mile walk. We were up at the front area for awhile but then Robert had to take Oscar home because he was getting overwhelmed. So we waited some time for Robert to get back and meet up with us. Our friend Omar showed up too with his Min Pin, Suki. Once we were all together we began our Walk again. I was so proud of Link. He would get tired at times, and then get a little burst of energy and want to get ahead of other dogs. He did so well. We didn't finish last, but it wasn't a race, Link just likes to think of things as a race so he gets antsy. But he did so well, he is a great walking partner.

After we had finished the walk, we watched a search and rescue demonstration, then stayed around to see if we won any raffles. It was a fun day that started really early for Link.

Thank you so much to everyone that sponsored me and Link. We were $50 bones away from our goal, but that doesn't matter. I got closer to it than I thought I would so thank you to those who helped us and helped the animals that need the medical attention and happy loving homes that they deserve.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Sponsor me & Link in the Wag N' Walk 2008, to benefit homeless and abused animals

Dear Friends and Family,

On September 27th, I will be participating in the Wag N' Walk, a first of its kind event ever to come to Simi Valley! Similar in nature to other charity walks, but with a fun canine twist - the Wag N' Walk invites animal lovers and their beloved canine companions on a walk to help raise much needed funds to benefit Animal Rescue Volunteers (ARV) and their vital life-saving animal rescue programs. This is an organization that I support, and I would like to ask you to support my efforts by making a donation to ARV. My fundraising goal is $300 - I hope you will help me reach my goal. You can easily sponsor me by making a secure credit card donation at or sending a check to ARV's address listed below. Please be sure to indicate you are making a donation in my name. Your donation is tax deductible and you will be sent a tax deductible donation thank you letter.

Anyone who has felt the tenderness of a gentle paw on their knee or the tickle of whiskers on their cheek knows why pets are special creatures. They are comfort, companionship, and camaraderie. Our pets live in the moment, and they put us in the moment, taking us away from our hectic lives, easing stress, and showering us with love and joy. This is why ARV works to save the lives of these wonderful creatures.

What Animal Rescue Volunteers Does and Has Accomplished

Animal Rescue Volunteers is a non-profit organization that has played a vital role in our community by assisting Animal Control Agencies to save thousands of unwanted pets before they were destroyed. They have been instrumental in the adoption and referral adoptions of over 4,900 animals from 1994 thru today. This organization helps to feed, house, provide medical attention and care for dogs, cat and horses that they have rescued from the animal shelter, a fire, earthquake or flood and then place them in forever loving homes.

ARV is an all volunteer organization, relying only on foster homes and private donations to continue their work. They do not maintain a costly facility or paid staff so all monies raised from the Wag N' Walk directly benefit homeless animals in our community!

Thank you so much for helping me make a difference in the lives of so many homeless pets in Simi Valley and the surrounding communities! I appreciate your sponsorship and also invite you to join me on September 27th to Wag N' Walk!

For more information, please call me or log onto

For the animals,

ARV1464 Madera Rd. #N350

Simi Valley CA 93065

Friday, September 19, 2008

Laid Off

I was laid off yesterday. I have no job. They terminated me because of all the days I missed due to River's death and memorial service. It really hurts us to not have a second income at the moment, but I also get this time to myself to grieve poperly. I will be putting in more volunteer hours at the animal rescue and continue to search for a job. I am also having business cards made so people can use me as a pet sitter or have dog training consultations. Since I am not certified yet, I can only consult. I'll be able to focus more on school and finish faster as well.

Not only was I depressed in the first place, this just made it worse. But I need to try to find a positive out of this. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

River's Memorial

Robert and I went to Seattle last Friday, and we recently came back the following Monday. On Friday we flew to Portland, picked up my Grandma then rented a car and drove to Seattle. Later that night my brothers Ryan and Dave flew in and stayed at the same hotel as we did. The next day (Saturday) was River's memorial. Her friends were arriving, some people from the LDS Sultan Ward were helping my mother and I set up River's artwork, pictures, the guestbook, and a few of River's personal items. Many people sent flowers and cards. Her memorial was held at the Sultan Ward meetinghouse. The bishop was conducting it. Many family members were there, but not all of her family which was sad to me. Ryan gave the Opening prayer. Richard(River's father and my other brother) spoke about River's personality, and shared some of his personal feelings. Then I spoke on what River valued in life, which was love and family. I also shared some of my personal thoughts and memories of River. A nice man from the ward sang a beautiful song, Richard's home teacher shared some words, and then the bishop closed the service with some doctrine, which was meaningful. Then we sang Nearer my God to Thee, this made me breakdown. I cried so hard, more than I have in awhile. I was hurting, I was sad, I missed my bubbly outgoing River. I realized that the next time I was going to Seattle to visit with family, she would not be there. That hurt. She was always there, and always spending time with me. That wasn't going to happen anymore. A part of my happiness was taken away. Dad gave the closing prayer that brought a lot of people to tears. Robert had to hold me. I don't know what I would have done if he weren't there. After the service, many of River's friends greeted me and hugged me. They were so young, I felt their pain. I wanted to give them peace, and yet they wanted to give me peace as well.

The night before her memorial I had a dream. I don't usually dream because I take meds for insomnia. But I had a dream that I was speaking to another niece of mine about River, and how much we missed her and sharing our memories of her. Just as my other niece left the room River came to me and hugged me so tight it felt real. She told me she loved me and then left. This was the comfort I had been praying for. Heavenly Father answered me in a way that I would understand. I still hurt and I still cry, but I know that River loves me, and I need that assurance.

I hope no one has to go through this type of ordeal. Just imagine that it was your child who took their own life because they were not happy with you as a parent. That would break anybodies heart. It broke mine, to see my brother and sister-in-law go through this. They hurt.

Remember, the choices you make affect the life you give to your children. I feel like all my nieces and nephews on my side are suffering because of their parents wrong choices. As a parent you have a responsibility to raise your child correctly. Heavenly Father has entrusted you with his children, and it is your duty to bring them up the way Heavenly Father has commanded of us.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

My Darling River

This morning my neice River, passed away at 8:02 AM. I am heartbroken. The entire family is heartbroken. I know she did not want to suffer anymore. I know she wanted to get out. Her decision was the only way she knew to escape her home life. In my heart I know she is happy now. She deserves to be happy. I hope to have her temple work done as soon as allowed. I miss and love River with all my heart, and I hope she knows that I wanted to help her.

She was tired of hurting...

Monday, September 1, 2008

River's update

Ok so I just got back from Seattle. River is being kept at Harborview hospital. I went to see her in her room. Her head was shaved and her body just layed there as just a body, nothing else. Her head was swollen with stitches all around from the wounds and the surgeries. I tried talking to her but is was just too hard. I was in disbelief of that body actually being her's. They have tubes in her head to drain the blood. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle looking at her. Is that horrible of me? I don't want to remember her that way. There isn't very much left of her brain, just the brain stems. That's basically what keeps her organs functioning.

Yesterday we decided as a family to take her off life support. As we watched the doctors remove her breathing tubes we waited in agony expecting her to pass. But she kept breathing on her own. We don't know how much longer she will be able to do it by herself, but I think we would all like to see her pass soon in hopes to trying to heal.

My heart just hurts. I am emotionally, physically, and mentally drained and exhausted. I just want to fall asleep and when I decide to wake up the past week would hopefully just be a nightmare and not reality.

Sometimes I break down and sometimes I go numb because I dont want to feel it anymore. I dont want the rest of my family to feel the pain anymore.