Monday, December 28, 2009

25 Weeks



This picture is terrible, I know. But lucky for you I have an excuse. I'm battling a sinus cold.

25 week update

M.E.: She is growing bigger all the time. I feel her move and stretch quite a bit. Mostly when it's time to eat or wake up. She also moves a lot when Neil Diamond is playing. That makes me proud. It's funny to watch her move around. I think she and Link have already created a bond. He likes to rest his head on my belly more these days, and she likes to kick him. 

Bethany: Belly growths hurt. I hate wearing bras. I want to eat non stop. I'm still having emotional issues. The belly button is out. I can't see my feet. I would rather sleep than go out. I'm really tired all the time. My cravings change each week. One week it was french fries, another week it was ice cream. I have a lot of leg cramps and back pain. 

Robert: He has been amazing through out the pregnancy. He is excited about having a daughter and adding to our family. He has also been so supportive and trying to make things easier on me. I know helping me out exhausts him, but he is willing to do it because he loves me. He works really hard and I appreciate all he does.  Having a baby has really made our relationship grow stronger and our love for each other is deeper. 

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Mood Swings Galore

Frustration, depression, exhaustion, lack of motivation and anger. These are what I feel on a daily basis. It's like I have no control over who I am or what I feel anymore. My depression and anxiety have gotten worse, so of course that affects my lack of motivation and being frustrated over things I cannot control. My anger comes from not being able to express what I am feeling without being looked down upon or told I am doing it wrong if I feel this way. Exhaustion comes from the fact that I cannot take it enough carbs to keep up with M.E.'s constant growing (the majority of carbs are in foods that contain gluten).

I am definitely having a difficult pregnancy not just emotionally, but physically as well. I have a pretty messed up spine from my car accident. It's hard to do simple tasks sometimes. I have to take my time, or sit and rest with a heating pad and tylenol.

I am so thankful for an O.B. that reassures me that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am so thankful he is there for me when I need him. I am also so thankful he has studied Celiac Disease. I know I made the right choice in having him deliver M.E. He understands my fears and anxieties and is so willing to work with me so that I am more comfortable with this process. He has been the one I have trusted throughout these past 5 months. When someone else says something that just doesn't sit right with me, he confirms my feelings and makes it better. He reminds me that every woman is different and just because I am not feeling the joys that others have felt doesn't make me a failure in pregnancy. He has been my second rock next to Robert.

I honestly don't think I owe anyone an explanation on how I feel. I do have the right to vent, and I do so when  I feel I can. But most of the time when I am asked how I feel, I lie and say I'm good. I'm not good, but I don't feel like exhausting myself in an explanation that most aren't going to understand.

I am literally all over the place in emotions. I cry everyday for no reason, or maybe because there are too many reasons to deal with all at once. I am positive that post pardum will not be a fun experience for me. Until then I am on constant pins and needles until M.E. is delivered alive and healthy and in my arms.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

My 10 Honest Facts

I was given the Honest Scrap Award by Kelli at Animal Friendly Eating.
Thanks Kelli for thinking of me.




Rules to receiving this award:

1. Post the award on your blog.
2. Present this award to others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
3. Tell those people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP, inform them of these guidelines.
4. Share "Ten Honest things" about yourself.

My 10 Honest Facts

1.  I am not easily offended, but apparently I easily offend. I don't mean to. 
2. I love putting spearmint leaves in my lemonade. It's the best way to drink lemonade.
3. Dancing is my happiness remedy.
4. I have a habit of falling asleep while driving. I have had 2 car accidents due to this problem.
5. I have a hard time trusting people because of others in my life have betrayed it so often.
6. I have OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder). It used to be so bad that I would shower and change my clothes 3 times a day. Since Robert and I adopted dogs, my OCD has decreased a ton. The dogs are my therapy.
7.  I hate wearing high heels, but I love to buy them and stare at their beauty.
8. Rehabilitating dogs is my passion in life.
9.  Most young girls ask their parents for a pony, I always asked for an elephant.
10.  I have a crush on Anderson Cooper.

Blogs I Am Nominating

Ace and Elle
First of Four
Classic Jones
Just Us (plus the cat & the fish)

Crying over Commercials

Every time the ASPCA, Humane Society, and Child Fund International commercials come I immediately start crying. This isn't a new thing. I always have. I cry because I see images I know exist and that there are people in this world that hurt helpless animals and children. I hate it. I hate that people like that live in this world. I know those people will get what they deserve in the end, but for right now I want to help more than I have been. Obviously I don't have the money to donate all the time like I would like to, but if I did, I would donate it. I also wish Robert and I could adopt every animal and child in need. We will always adopt our pets, no question about it, and one day I know we will adopt children as well. I can't wait for that day. I feel such joy when I hear about an animal that was saved or a child was adopted into a loving home. Children and animals have such perfect souls that do not deserve to be abused and tortured.Spay and neuter your pets, love and cherish your children.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Opening the Door, I Tried to Keep Closed

***Note: This post is purely for my personal recovery with issues I dealt with my entire life, comment if you'd like but do remember I am publicly writing this for my own recovery***

Do you know why a porcupine has quills? It's their defense mechanism. I too have a defense mechanism.

Robert married me knowing that my fertility was not very strong and accepted it. We both knew that when it was time for us to be parents, Heavenly Father would provide a way for us to do so. We were not going to worry about it.

If you have never had a miscarriage, let me tell you, they are very painful. Not just physically but emotionally and can really mess up your immune system. It can tear you apart as a woman. You constantly wonder what you did wrong. Well, instead of emotionally healing from it I became the porcupine and let out my quills. I convinced myself I didn't ever want children, that I purely disliked them. This was my way of coping without having to explain to nosy women why Robert and I didn't have kids yet. I always hated that question. I really wanted to say "You don't know me, what gives you the right to ask me that question and know my business?" But instead I just flat out said "I don't like kids" and we left it at that. It was so easy, and it kept me from crying all day. My quills were saving me from myself.

Once I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, and I maintained a gluten free diet to bring my immune system back to health, I immediately became pregnant to our surprise. It was a very pleasant surprise but we also had our hesitations and worries about being pregnant. We just waited for me to miscarry again. It was constantly on our minds. I was so afraid of going through that again. I just can't go through that again. The pain and disappointment. So as I lay here 5 months pregnant, my quills are still out. I still expect something to go wrong since that is all I know. I fear everything there is to fear. Will she come to early? Will she be a still birth?
I once again tell people, I don't want another after M.E. to avoid the painful conversation of my reality.

I know not very many women know what I went through and what I am feeling. I don't expect them to understand, but I do expect them to be sensitive to all women and their situations. I am so thankful for the few women in my life that understand what it's like to have fertility issues. They have been so supportive and loving and great listeners.

I guess thats all I really needed. Someone who would listen rather than talk my ear off about their pregnancy. All I need is a shoulder sometimes. I don't really like being bombarded with others opinions or being talked down to. It really pushes me away further from trusting others with my real feelings.

I hope this helped me overcome some of my problems and puts me on a path to recover from this depression.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Support Our Troops By Saying Thank You This Season

XEROX IS DOING SOMETHING COOL



If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq.

You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to a member of the armed services.

How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!

It is FREE and it only takes a second.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?

Whether you are for or against the war, our soldiers over there need to know we are behind them.

This takes just 10 seconds and it's a wonderful way to say thank you.

Please take the time to send a card, and please take the time to pass it on for others to do. We can never say enough thank you's.

Thanks for taking to time to support our military!

So Sleepy......zZzZz

Every morning I have the hardest time waking up. "No, just a little bit longer" I tell the dogs, who really need to go out and do their business. Around 3PM I want to sleep again. I am so tired by the time it hits 3, that I could seriously pass out wherever I am. Then, 6PM rolls around and it's so dark out that my body believes it's time for bed. Yep, I pretty much spend most of my days asleep. Just looking at the laundry that needs to be put away makes me tired. There are times I would rather sleep than eat, but M.E. doesn't let me sleep until I eat. I really don't have much to add to the blog lately because the most I do is sleep and that's pretty boring for everyone to read about.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My Friend S. Miles

I consider S. Miles my friend. I don't know if she considers me her friend, but that doesn't matter so much anymore. I used to worry she didn't like me and I wanted her to like me so bad. Maybe she does now, but the important thing is that I like her, I consider her my friend because I want to. That pretty much goes for everyone. I consider everyone my friend whether they like it or not. Even if you hate me, that's your problem because you are still my friend in my mind. Anyways, back to S.Miles.

I know she has been through a lot in life, just as I have. I don't judge her for her choices. That would not be fair. I don't want to be judged by others for my choices. She is who she is and I am who I am. We are not supposed to be the same. Our sorrows and joys are not always the same. She does not know how many pregnancies I have miscarried and the trauma it put on my body, and how much my disease affects my pregnancy, and I do not know how much extensive doctor visits she has had to be able to have children. And it may not be her body that is rejecting pregnancies. We can't always assume that we know someone else's situation when we really don't. We all need to be open minded about others situations in life. Heavenly Father has different plans for both of our families. There is a particular reason why our plans are not the same. She knows her plan and follows it, I know my plan and I follow it. I will not judge her for the plan Heavenly Father has for her. And if I say that I am not having another child after this one, that needs to be accepted by others out there because they don't know what confirmation I may already have from Heavenly Father. We all have different plans, and we are meant to struggle through these plans for a reason. I show my struggles differently than others, it's how I know how to cope. The same goes for S. Miles, she will cope in her struggles differently than I. But I will still be her friend. I will still help her out the best way I know how. She has helped me through things whether she is aware of it or not and I thank her deeply for that.

Word of Wisdom

I have been dissecting the Word of Wisdom (Doctrine & Covenants Section 89)lately because I want to obviously follow the Word of Wisdom, but also be healthier for my own good. I was reading the verses that deal with eating meat, and we are told to eat it sparingly. Now the word sparingly is often an opinion to those who decide how much sparingly really means. To me it means meat does not need to be eaten in every meal, and that's exactly what I am going to live by. I am choosing to only eat meat from home, I have more assurance knowing whats in it and how it is prepared. When it comes to eating out at restaurants I will choose to not eat meat. How can I trust their meats don't have hormones or fillers that could cause my health to deteriorate in the long run. I have also decided to go back to cutting soda out of my diet as well. It's empty calories filled with a cheaper sugar source and nasty dyes. I don't need that in my body. I especially don't need to be passing that stuff along to my baby.

I want to start taking the Word of Wisdom more seriously because I know it was written for our health. I know that I should take better care of my body. Heavenly Father gave it to me to take care of. My body is a temple and I should not mistreat it. I vow to eat candy in moderation, reduce my meat intake and discard soda completely. I am so happy to be making this decision. I feel so good about it, that it's the right decision for my body.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Thank You

I wanted to say thank you to all of those who commented. A lot of them were really encouraging. It's not just pregnancy that I am having a hard time with. Having an unplanned pregnancy was just the icing on the cake, and it hasn't been an easy road.

I truly do feel M.E. is a blessing from God. I already love her so much. I know we were meant to have her at the time Heavenly Father wanted us to. It's just been a very difficult process to sometimes accept with the situation Robert and I are in.

Some days I am so depressed because I worry about how we are ever going to take care of her and give her what she deserves. It's a very humbling time for us to be pregnant, jobless, one working car, going to school, and living with my parents. It all weighs heavy on my shoulders and my constant question is "how do we get through this?"

I understand we are all different. For some women, it may be true, all they want is a baby so bad it doesn't matter what it takes. It has never been that way for me. Once I was told that getting pregnant might be difficult for me, I accepted that and moved on. I wasn't heartbroken. I knew that IF I ever wanted to be a mom, there would be a plan for me. But growing up, I didn't want to be a mom. I was afraid by my own childhood experiences. I even told people when I was like 10 that I never wanted to get married either. The road has been trying. I have a lot to be thankful for and I count my blessings, but I also stress over life and the cards it has dealt. I like being able to have a blog to vent on and receive comments from friends and family to help me realize they are truly there for me. Thanks to all of you.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

(Mom)ent of Truth

Okay, I know I'm gonna get razzed by everyone but seriously, you all can't change my mind. Only I am aware of how I feel, no one can feel what I am feeling. Not even Robert, as much as I wish he could.

I really hate being pregnant!

It feels awful, and no one tells you the truth about how it really is. It's like a conspiracy other mothers have going by saying how much they love being pregnant and how they never got sick or they never were tired etc. But secretly they are thinking that if they had to go through 9 months of complete misery then so does other women.

When I tell you I am never doing this again. Please leave it at that. I promise you, I will never do this again. Don't tell me that when I get to hold the baby I will forget it all. I promise you I wont forget, I am the type to remember traumatizing moments in my life. I will hold a grudge against my body forever. Yes, I am a woman, and maybe my body was made to bear children, but this body will only be bearing one child, not 5 to 10. I am not doing a disservice to my religion, there are plenty of other women who will be more than happy to bear 5 to 10 kids. They will make up for my loss. I am not on this Earth to push out as many kids as God will allow me. I am here to fulfill the purposes God had intended for me and I know what those purposes are. And if you know me you know that I feel breeding is overrated, go out and adopt.
Yes, today has been a bad day.

Monday, November 23, 2009

20 Weeks: Half Way Done and Getting Bigger



This is me at 20 weeks. I can't believe I am half way through this strange process we call pregnancy. The other night I was awaken by the worst growing pains ever and to follow were lower back aches and a charlie horse in my calf. What a miserable night. I should have been born a Kangaroo. A pouch would be so much easier. Anyways. M.E is growing so fast because I can literally feel it. I am happy she is growing, I am not happy that I can feel it. Not a fun feeling.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Thanks and Hopes

Thanks
I am thankful for:
Robert
Forgiveness
Supportive friends, family, and church members
Temple marriage
Prayer
Compassion
Generosity
Old friends that will always be there
Service
Every dog in the world
Education
Humility
My Mother (I miss her so much)
Simplicity
Second chances
Ice cream
A roof over our heads
Spiritual guidance
The opportunity to bring a child in this world, even if it's my only opportunity.

Hopes
I hope:
M.E. will have the love, support, and education that we didn't have as children
To continue adopting dogs the rest of my life
To further my testimony and gospel education
To finish school
To learn more life lesson
The best in life for those who wish to remain in my past
To eat gluten again
To eventually see a therapist
To always have Robert
To have a goat
To be a good influence to others
To serve always
To have happy wrinkles when I'm old
To have my mom live with us one day soon
To adopt more children
To see the world and it's God given beauty
To donate my body to science rather than be buried or cremated
To always be comfortable with myself

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Things That Keep Me Busy








So, since I am at home a lot and don't always feel so grand, I have been working on some crafts to make the days go by faster and better. I got really into finding stuffed animal patterns and making mine own up as well. I bought some left-over material at Joann's Fabrics and some stuffing, I need to go back to buy wool felt too for the Christmas Ornaments I want to make next. I have also been working on a quilt for the baby, but thats gonna take awhile. I also have been making intricate and not so intricate hair clips that I am thinking of selling on Etsy, along with some vintage things I have. The pictures above is what I do though out my days.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Kidney Stones (Again)

Yesterday I was experiencing some pain in my right kidney. My first thought was that the baby was just pushing up against it or something since recently we have been seeing more visible movement from the baby. I decided not to think too much of it, but then it just started to get annoying. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom every 2 min, but nothing would come out. Then I had remembered my Doctor telling me that if the baby was in a spot that was making me uncomfortable, to hold a flash light up to that spot and the baby will move away. Well, I tried that. Didn't work. The pain was not diminishing. It was only getting stronger. I drank some water to see if that would help. It wasn't until I realized that I could not stand up straight and that I couldn't think clearly anymore from the excruciating pain that this was not the baby, I was having a kidney stone. This was my 6th kidney stone in my entire life. Normally I would know right away that I was experiencing a kidney stone from my past experience, but since I'm pregnant, the baby is the first thing that comes to mind for anything I am feeling. I should have known better, but I wasn't thinking. Plus my kidney stones come in a pattern. Every 3 to 4 years in the Spring. I had my last kidney stone a year and a half ago and it's Fall right now. Totally out of the norm. Thankfully I had left over meds from the last one and Robert called the Labor and Delivery section of the Hospital to get their advice without having to actually come into the hospital. They were very helpful. I was allowed to take my pain medication and sleep without having to make that trip, pay $500 bucks for the doctors to do the same thing. give me pain meds and let me sleep. I feel a little better. Kind of drugged and tired with a little bit of kidney pain. I have been drinking a lot of water so I can pass the stone quickly, so of course, more annoying frequent trips to the bathroom. Now I don't know what to expect anymore, I will always be surprised with something!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Oh Baby

So last night, Robert and I felt baby do some acrobatics or stretching or something. I don't know what they do in there, it must be boring. Robert had his hand on my belly and quickly removed it. I said "Did you feel what I just felt?" His reply "Yeah, that was weird" Agreed.

I still haven't been able to put on weight. I range between 90 to 94 lbs. Now remember I can't eat most of the foods out there that carry all the calories, so before you tell me to go chow down on a donut I am going to politely remind you that they contain gluten which will make me really sick if I partake. As much as I would love to just go out and order a dozen donuts and eat them by myself in the corner of the room I can't for the sake of my health and the baby's. I would give anything for a chocolate chip bagel toasted with cream cheese from John's Bagel Deli, but it's not happening.

The belly grows, but nothing else does. I have been able to eat more foods, such as steak, broccoli, honeydew melon, corn tortilla quesadillas with pinto beans, rice, seaweed, miso soup, but still have no appetite. I love candy right now. Especially chocolate bars and sour gummies.

I am constantly thirsty. I'll drink a bottle of water and a minute later I'll be so thirsty again.

I hate getting up to use the restroom every 2 hours throughout the night. I just want to sleep for once. Such an inconvenience.

Oh and am I moody or what? It takes every little bit of calmness I have left inside of me to not be a jerk to everyone around me. If I do lose my cool, I hope I will be forgiven and that they would understand.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Dates to Remember

November 1st - Oscar's memorial in our backyard.
November 9th - Baby's gender will be determined.
November 27th - Black Friday. Who want's to hit up Kohl's with me at 4 AM?
December 5th - Family Portraits for Christmas cards.
December 17th - Sending out Christmas cards. If you want one email me your address to epearson21@gmail.com.

Stay tuned for more announcements!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Overdue



So I have been meaning to blog about the last date Robert and I went on. We had heard awhile back that our fave band, The Get Up Kids, were getting back together and they were doing an anniversary tour. Well, I was not going to miss out on seeing them and I made Robert buy tickets as soon as they went on sale. This was before I became pregnant, but when we learned of this news I was not going to let it stop me. Yes, I felt sick that night but I dealt with it. Robert and I found a place where I could sit without having people bump into me. Anyways, we had a lovely night, and I was so stoked to see the band I love most with all my heart. They band that brought Robert and me together. The band with the most amazing song that we chose as our wedding song to dance to at our reception. Plus this was the last concert I would have been able to attend until the baby is born and we get a babysitter. Despite the heart burn I enjoyed every minute of watching them play and I know Robert did too. In my opinion, The Get Up Kids are the best band to see live.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Feeling Alone

Lately I have been realizing that I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know anything about pregnancy or babies. I don't have any younger siblings so all this stuff is so new to me. In our ward everyone pretty much already has children. I feel alone in my pregnancy. The girls that I consider my friends that are pretty much due around the same time as I am are all so far away from me that I don't have someone to be pregnant with and share my thoughts and feelings and what's normal, what's not. This is the depressing part of being the youngest child in the family by 12 years. The advice is old and the medical field is in constant forward change. I just want someone to relate to and be close with. I want to be social and I want my child to be social so I hope we can eventually move to a ward that has children around the age of mine or someone pregnant will move into our ward. Sounds silly, but I need this.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Ultrasound pic 12 1/2 weeks



Well, here it is in my body. Weird to think about.

Morph - Thanks Jena for the idea!





Apparently this is what our child will look like. It doesn't look like either of us, but that's pretty normal in my family. We all look nothing like each other.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Bump


13 weeks

I know it doesn't look like much to most, but if you know how skeleton skinny I am, this is a lot to me. So far the baby is healthy and lively and we are trying hard to keep it that way. The baby only allows me to eat certain foods. I live off of grapes, apples, pears, oatmeal, soy beans, cranberry juice, Powerade, rice cakes, Del Taco taco's, Taco Bell Nachos, and antacids. I would gain more weight I'm sure if I could eat the delicious things that contain gluten. I don't know how I'm gonna pack on the calories without them.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Some recent happenings

Well I graduated Animal Behavior College so I will be receiving my CDT (Dog Training Certification) soon. But, I am now seen as qualified to train dogs but I like to do more of problem solving to encourage people to keep their pets. It's a challenge and that's what I want.

Robert got an internship at Arcade. We hope it will turn into a career position eventually. It's an unpaid internship but it will still count as school credit so that's a plus.

Baby is fine. My due date keeps changing and I expect it will continue to change through out the rest of the pregnancy. Just expect sometime in early April. I am pretty much sick all the time and the heartburn doesn't seem to cease, but slowly it is getting better. I am showing just a little bit. We officially heard the heart beat the other day, but it still doesn't seem real to us. I guess we both don't want to be excited until the baby is actually here and healthy. We both have felt that something could go wrong considering my health and how my body deals with certain circumstances.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

New Blog

Thanks everyone for all the lovely wishes and advice. I appreciate it all. Since I am pregnant it is now more important that I stay gluten free and not slip up just because I am having "cravings". I started a gluten free blog. It will have gluten free recipes and just about my journey trying to stay gluten free for not only my health but for the health of the life that I am carrying within. It's called Gluten Free Delicious Dish. Check it out.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Second Ultrasound Results

I had my second ultrasound yesterday. Apparently I am further along than we originally thought. I am now 6 1/2 weeks along and the new due date is April 5th. Robert was there with me to do his Fatherly/Husbandly duty. We got to see the fetus on the monitor and got to see the heart beating. It was mind blowing. My O.B. gave us a little picture of our tiny fetus. I have been showing it to everyone.

I am still exhausted and nauseous everyday. I feel a little better once I take a shower and try not to look so gross. I am going to invest into those Preggie Pops and hope that they work with my nausea.

I am hestitant to be excited about being pregnant until I know I am far enough along that I won't have to worry anymore. But, even after the first trimester I am going to worry. It's just in my nature.

I wouldn't say I am "showing" already, but I would say I don't have much to wear that is comfortable fitting. I have a little bump, but I could still be "baby bloated" who knows. Then again, I did gain ten pounds already....

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Updates

I know, I know. It has been over a month since I've "blogged" I am either having too much fun or I just don't feel like it. Well, what has been happening since the end of June? My mom came to visit. We took her to Solvang and just spent quality time with her. We had a splendid time and miss Mom very much. Can't wait to visit with her again.
Then Robert's sister, Leah and her friend, Aubrey came to California for a fun adventure. We went to Disneyland, Santa Monica, Zuma Beach, Ventura, Olvera Street, Fashion District, Hollywood, Universal City Walk, and Camarillo Outlets. The girls had so much fun and I know they want to come back. Robert and I loved having them here and hope they come back again.
Then we spent some time at Leo Carrillo visiting with my cousins and Aunt & Uncle. We had a blast and enjoyed every minute of it.
Last but not least. We found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant. We didn't plan this, but we are happy and terrified at the same time. I am already uncomfortable with how my body is feeling so I am not looking forward to 9 months of this. I am very aware of every little feeling I have in my body. I wish I wasn't. We are very surprised that I was able to get pregnant, my OB said it's most likely due to me becoming gluten free, so I don't have the gluten inside me to attack and malnurish me. The key is staying pregnant now. I am definitely afraid of another miscarriage, but if that's what happens then maybe that's what needs to happen to get more answers. We are trying to stay positive.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Peach Delight

Gluten Free Version:

4 Cups SHredded Sweetened Coconut
4 Tbsp butter, chilled
4 Pkg (8 oz each) fat free Cream Cheese, softened
3/4 Cup sugar
1 Pkg (3 oz) Jell-o Peach Flavor Gelatin
1 can (15 oz) Sliced peaches, drained, chopped or 2 chopped fresh peaches
1 tub (8oz) Cool Whip Lite, thawed

Pour coconut in food processor, add butter. Process until mixture looks like crumbs. Press onto bottom of 13x9 inch pan. Refrigerate while preparing filling. Beat cream cheese and sugar in large bowl with mixer until blended. Add dry gelatin mix; mix well. Stir in peaches and Cool Whip. Spoon over coconut crust; cover. Refrigerate 4 hours or until firm.

Regular version

2 Cups Graham Cracker crumbs
6 Tbsp Butter, chilled
1 Cup Sugar
4 Pkg (8 oz each) fat free Cream Cheese, softened
1 Pkg (3 oz) Jell-o Peach Flavor Gelatin
1 can (15 oz) Sliced peaches, drained, chopped or 2 chopped fresh peaches
1 tub (8oz) Cool Whip Lite, thawed

Mix graham crumbs, butter and 1/4 cup sugar; Press onto bottom of 13x9 inch pan. Refrigerate while preparing filling. Beat cream cheese and sugar in large bowl with mixer until blended. Add dry gelatin mix; mix well. Stir in peaches and Cool Whip. Spoon over coconut crust; cover. Refrigerate 4 hours or until firm.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Ugh!!!! It's been too long.

I am usually really good at updating the blog, but too much has been going on. First off I'd like to tell everyone "Thanks" for all the support and positive feedback towards my Celiac Disease. I absolutely am burned out talking about it, but it has consumed my life so much, that I can't get away from talking about it. It seems to always be a topic of conversation, because to most people I am eating weird food, or think I'm crazy for reading every label on every food item to secure myself. On a good note, I feel so much better! I am free from the nasty migraines and stomach pains, and the itchy rashes on my hands. My energy level is coming back and I feel healthier and I want to get out and do more for once.

Robert and I just had our birthdays, and with my birthday money from Grandma and Mom I bought a surfboard. It's a goal of mine to get back out there and get the endurance back that I once had. Plus a tan doesn't hurt either.

I know that Heavenly Father has been helping me all along. I know he understood the physical pains I was enduring and I know he was helping me find the answers to what was ailing me. If it weren't for my doctor quitting her practice and me having to find specialists on my own i don't think I would have been diagnosed already. So Dr. Anderson, Thank you for quitting, I miss you, but I feel much better now.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Drs. Appointment #2: Diagnosis

Yesterday I went back to my Allergist/Immune Specialist to recieve my blood test results. What the Dr. was about to tell was not what I had expected or wanted to hear. I have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease, which basically means I cannot digest gluten proteins and when I eat gluten I will have a series of internal problems that are typical symptoms that could last up to weeks. My Dr has said that Celiac is still in research to find out if it is genetic or caused by trauma to the nervous system, also I really can't be told how long I have had this. I wouldn't be surprised if I have had it my whole life since I have been suffering from my symptoms for so long. I am happy to finally have some answers and a diagnosis but I am going through some emotions right now. I am not sure where to begin, there is so much to learn and mentally digest. I look forward to tackling this and feeling better. But the big worry right now is we don't have the funds to even re-grocery shop and gluten free foods can add up more expensively than regular foods. I still don't know how we are going to pay for all the Dr bills and blood tests. This has been really stressing me out about our financial bind. I am thankful that Robert has been really understanding and supportive about me needing to find out what has been wrong with me but I can't help but feel guilty for not finding the answers sooner when we had the money to do so. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what to do or what to sell, what bills not to pay. I have applied to so many jobs and have had interviews but nothing is working out. My unemployment stopped coming because they are waiting on proof of my Dr appointments and diagnoses results in order to continue recieving checks. I am an emotional wreck right now. I have to have faith that we will get through this.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Dogs Life





Since I have been without work and have had pet sitting cancelations the money has been tight to the point of having nothing in our account until the next paycheck. So I have been taking this free time that I have to take the dogs places a lot. It gets me out of the house and it gets them away from the back gate barking at every passer-by, plus if I have the dogs with me I am choosing to do free activities and it keeps me from shopping because I would never bring Link and Nessie into a store and pretend like I trust them not to pee on anything.

Lately I have been taking them to the beach with their friend Woody and my dear friends, Colleen and Emily. And since Link needs to lose some extra pounds Robert and I have been taking them on hikes, and when Robert is at work Colleen and I take them hiking. They love it! When I don't feel like driving far, Simi Dog Park here we come with Woody and Emily at our side. I have been trying to find more and more places to take them by searching dogfriendly.com. That website has pretty much sold me, I now want to buy their books. My dogs have it made!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Testimony

Every testimony meeting at church I always feel prompted to get up and share my testimony about families being able to be together forever. Except I don't all the time. I guess it's normal to share the same testimony over and over again, and maybe it needs to reach someone in particular. So I decided to blog it to give me more confidence when it comes time for testimony meeting again.

Basically I feel overwhelmed with absolute joy and gratitude for making the choice to be with Robert for eternity. He is heaven sent for sure. I love him with all my heart and love how much he loves me. Whatever type of family Heavenly Father has planned for us I am grateful that I will have a family to be with forever.

Before I met Robert, most of you are probably aware that I didn't grow up super active in the church and wasn't always living my life accordingly. And most of you might not know how influential you were in my life and I want to thank you for being an example to me. Jessica (Jones) Kay, and Ashley (Sims) Pollard, you both are amazing people and I am always grateful to know you. You both truly were examples to me in high school and beyond. You may not have known it but you were, thank you for being you. My roomies, Pam, Bayba, and Jones you three helped me get through the toughest struggle of my life - gaining my own personal testimony, the three of you were excellent examples to me as well at the time we lived together and after to even now. You all were placed in my life by divine intervention I just know it. I would go as far as saying the three of you saved my life from hell.

As I look back on my life before Robert I realize how much I filled it with selfish indulgences. I was living in the "now" instead of preparing for the future. Once I learned this everything started to make sense. The Gospel was coming together for me. It really was that easy to give up "my ways" to spend time and all eternity with Robert and our family and the family members who passed on before now. I was the one who was making it hard. You really can give up what you need to in order to have a family forever. Temporal worldly things don't compare to a family for time and all eternity. Coffee, alcohol, and booty shorts hold no comparison. I am living pure joy because of my choice to be sealed to Robert. I have to say he is worth every moment of it. Keeping the covenants I made are worth every moment of it. Going to church isn't that hard, I am the one who makes it hard. Reading my scriptures or saying my prayers aren't hard, once again I am the one who makes it hard. We all have choices to make and I know making the right choice has made life easier. I plan on keeping up my end of the deal to continue to have what I have been promised.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Link's Birthday Party





I wanted to throw a birthday party for Link so that all his dog friends would come over and play. I always try to set up playdates for Link and Nessie so they don't get too bored and become destructive, but playdates don't always work out. I knew if I threw a party, his friends would come. Well half of the invited dog friends came, but good enough. Link had a lot of fun playing with his cousin, Rocky, his best-friend, Woody and his new friend, Emma. It was so nice to see him run around with the dogs he is most comfortable with. I also made some awesome cupcakes for the dogs made out of ground turkey, rice, oats, carrots, egg, and yams baked together like a meatloaf in cupcake pans and frosted with canned pumpkin. Well, those dogs devoured their cupcakes, it must have been delicious but I wasn't going to find out for myself. Link opened his birthday presents. He got a weight loss plan from Grandma and Grandpa, some toys and poop bags from Rocky, and a Target giftard and Scooby Snacks from Emma. Thank's everyone for making Links day special. I know he had fun even though he didn't know what was going on. P.S. Link is 4 or 5 years old (28 or 35 in dog years)He is such a good boy and I love him very very much and I hope we have many more birthdays with him.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Drs. Appointment #1: Allergeis

Today I had an appointment to do an allergy test in order to know what may be causing some of my odd symptoms. They did a series of food allergy tests and environment allergy tests, they also had to take my blood for any immune disorders and wheat allergies. The results? I am practically allergic to every tree, weed, and grass in the U.S. (go figure, that didn't surprise me) I have allergies to dust and dog/cat hair, that didn't surprise me either. What did surprise me was the foods I am allergic to, I would have never known these foods could cause my joint pain, fatigue or migraines. So here is the random list:

* Soybean
* Cantaloupe
* Watermelon
* String beans
* Almonds
* Filberts
* Hazelnuts
* Mustard
* Sesame Seed
* Garlic
* Shellfish
* Hops (beer)

I will have to read pretty much every label of already seasoned and flavored foods. Some of these things I didn't like eating in the first place so I don't miss out on some, but soy, garlic, almonds, and cantaloupe disappoints me. Soy and garlic is in so much and I don't always realize I am eating half of this stuff, so now I know what to look out for. So now my face is numb and itchy from all my allergies at once in me. Next week I see a rheumatologist for more on my joint pains and in two weeks I will have my blood test results for immune disorders and celiac/wheat allergy and I will also be taking a breath test for dairy allergies. So more to come my friends.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Autoimmune Dysfunction?

For the past 4 months I have had some strange symptoms escalate since my car accident back in 2004. I have had MRI scans that turn up negative, blood results that come back with normal, and physical exams that come out normal. Where do I find results? I get migraines everyday (painful) my muscles hurt, and I have joint pain obviously in my back but also other parts of my body, I cant sleep, my throat is swollen and sometimes hurts, but most of all I have no energy. I feel fatigued all the time. It is hard to get out of bed and do simple things like laundry or making Robert's lunch. Sometimes I don't have the energy to get ready. My body is so tired. Even thinking about taking a walk or going out exhausts me. How am I supposed to function?

I contacted a friend of mine in the medical field and he pondered my symptoms with some colleagues and they all decided I need to see a rheumatologist and that it sounds like I have an autoimmune dysfunction. I am guessing this specialist has something to do with joint pain, so I found one near by and made an appointment. Next open appointment they have is on my 3 year wedding anniversary. Oh well, Robert will be at school anyways.

It really sucks being 25 and not being able to enjoy my youth because it hurts to be physically active and tires me quickly. I hope that I will be given some sort of diagnosis, and I hope it's something that I can overcome.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Updates to the Pear

Hey I just wanted to come on and say that I added three of my School Projects on Son of Pear, so Go over to Sonofpear.blogspot.com and watch them and comment on them. Thanks, Robert

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Son of Pear

Hey just wanting to let everyone know that I started the Photog blog called Son of Pear Productions. This blog will show some of my pictures and I also hope to show some of my work from school. So go to the right under favorite sites and go to Son of Pear Productions and comment on my stuff. Thanks, Robert

Monday, April 6, 2009

Our New Addition


This is Nessie. Our sweet, amazing 4 month old Shepherd mix. We love her very much and we are so blessed to add her to our family. I love rescues, they always make the best dogs! She learns fast and likes to follow her big brother Link everywhere. We hope you all can meet her soon.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Loved Bulldog


I have been putting this off because it hurts too much to think about let alone discuss it. So I am informing you all in case you don't know already and would feel better if people didn't ask about how Oscar is doing.

Oscar passed away last weekend. He died of a heart attack in his sleep. He was only 3 1/2 years old. English Bulldogs are very susceptible to heart attacks, especially if they are bred improperly. Oscar was not bred properly at all. I could never have another "bull" breed again. Too much worrying and sadness goes along with taking care of these breeds.

I am happy for times we shared with Oscar. I am also very happy that he spent his last few weeks with a better family that gave him what he needed. I am even happier that he is in Dog Heaven free from seizures and hip dysplasia.

What I am not happy about is the pain and sadness that I am left with. Death really only hurts the living.

He was our baby boy. The first living creature to love Robert and I ever shared together. His life was cut short because he was not healthy due to the conditions he was bred into. We love him and miss him so very much and look forward to seeing him again.

If you want you can share some memories of Oscar in the "comments" and we will be having a memorial service for him when we get his plaque made. Anyone is welcome to come. I will post the date when we have decided when to hold it.

But please I am not ready to talk about this yet. I have not been able to stop crying since Sunday.

If anyone wants to learn more about puppy mills and want to get involved in helping out diseased dogs from puppy mills please go to www.nopuppymills.com or www.stoppuppymills.org or you can visit my dog blog for lots of information on dogs www.doggonepawsitive.blogspot.com

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Weirdest Weekend Ever!

So our weekend starts off with Melissa, Robert and I catching some dinner at First Street Family Restaurant (Kountry Folks). Such a random old people restaurant now owned by Asians. We were also Pet sitting for some friends the whole weekend. The next morning Oscar's new owner came to meet him and it worked out perfectly. He went to a great home. We couldn't have asked for a better home for him. So Oscar left us that morning and then we had the grand opening of the Simi Dog Park at 10 AM. We got Link ready for that since we wanted to keep him busy throughout the day and not have time to think about Oscar being gone. He had a blast, got a lot of attention, we got free t-shirts and hot dogs. Then we brought our friends dogs over to our house to get some exercise and play with Link. One of the dogs jumped in the pool which I didnt expect at all, but it was a warm day so I guess she just needed to cool off. Link was exhausted from all the fun activities. That night we went to Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica with Emily and Melissa. We got back so late to our friends house and what did we find? A brick thrown through the front window, glass everywhere. It was insane. We called the police and filed a report. But we have no idea as to who would have done it or why. We were up until 4 AM just filing a police report and cleaning and calming the dogs down. So Sunday we pretty much slept.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Very Sad News


We have been having some issues lately to where we have to find Oscar a new home. He has been fighting with Link a lot and if he were to get hurt we would not be able to pay for the vet bills. Oscar is better off in a home as the only dog and with a family that can take care of him better than we could. He deserves one on one attention that we can't give him.

I have a few memories to share about Oscar. We got him 7 months after we got married. He tried to sleep in our laundry basket the first night with us, but he snored so loud Robert couldn't sleep and put him out in the living room. The next morning there was a huge poop right in front of the front door.

We made a video of him drinking out of a squirt bottle because we thought it was funny, to this day he still likes to drink out of a squirt bottle.

He won "Best Trick" at Healthy Draper Days. He did a high five for the senior citizen judges.

When Oscar gets hot he goes and sits in the pool and drinks it.

One day after Robert and I left for work, Oscar knocked down the baby gate and ran up to our bedroom probably looking for us and locked himself in our bedroom. When we came home we discovered he was not in the kitchen anymore. When we got to our room there was a huge poop right when you walk in, pieces of wrappings from a pound bar of chocolate that obviously became the poop. We found him in our walk in closet eating my shoes. I had to throw a pair out. P.S. when a dog eats chocolate they hallucinate, do not attempt ever.

Oscar gave some good and expensive times. We love him very much and know he will be going to a loving home that he deserves.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Temple Trip


Last Friday Robert and I went to the LA Temple to do some sealings. It was our first time doing sealings since our own. It was a beautiful experience bringing a series of husbands and wives together for time and all eternity. The best part about that night was that we were the only couple waiting to do sealings and there was a man there all by himself, so he got to participate with us and we were able to seal a family together. I dont ever want to take the Temple for granted. I don't ever want to break my Temple covenants. That experience of bringing a family together forever was enough to continue stregthening my testimony. Right now is especially hard because my sister and he family has left the gospel and their 2 youngest have not been baptized. I am concerned for them, but they are not my responsibility. I can only pray that they will want to be an eternal family again. My fear is that I wont being seeing some of my family members in the end. I pray I will be proven wrong. If Robert and I ever become parents, I pray that we don't make the mistakes that my siblings have made with their families. I feel they have taken their covenants for granted and have taken their family for granted. They don't remember the purpose of family and eternity and the gospel. Maybe one day they will, I just hope it doesn't take loosing another life for them to see that. Since I don't discuss my concerns with them I have to express it somewhere. So to those who read, thanks for listening. I know the Gospel is true. When I was younger I realized that whether I wanted to believe the gospel or not, it was still going to be true. So I needed to make a descision if I was going to continue to be lazy about my morals and make life harder for myself or if I was going to make a committment to my morals and make my life easier by following Heavenly Father's path. I feel I made the right choice. Thank you to all of you who didn't give up on me.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

School

Well everyone, I don't have a job anymore. I have decided I will look at this as a positive thing. I now get to focus 100% on school and finish in a flash and be able to get a job/career in my field. I am overdosing myself on classes and volunteer service and getting my name out to the community. I already have business cards and t-shirts and a window decal. And don't forget my own dog blog! I am set! I can do this. I know I will be much happier and fulfilled knowing that I am doing a service to the community. Wish me luck or let me practice on your dogs.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Photography and my creative slump

So here is another edition of Robert rants. Lately I have been feeling very UN motivated and UN creative, but today I started to get the urge to start taking pictures again. I love taking pictures it is one of my favorite pastimes I don’t think they’re very good but I like to do them and I like to get feedback on what I need to do to make things better. I have been talking to Leah lately about what she wants to go to school for and I told her how I wanted to go to school for photography but I didn’t because the prospects of making a living in that field is very low. So that’s why I’m in school for film, I know that I need to move up in my camera to a little bit more of a professional camera just because I have gotten better at taking pictures but I don’t have the means to spend anywhere from $400-$600 dollars for a new DSLR that’s just not going to happen. Well enough of that jibba jabba my main thing is I’m trying to get out of this slump I’m in and so my question is. Should I start a blog in which to post some of my pictures? Who would actually look at it? If you think this might be a good idea let me know. I mean 90% of the pictures on this blog are taken by me.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's Day at Disneyland


I know, we always go to Disneyland. We just love that place so much. We spent the weekend in a crappy hotel, but Robert made dinner reservations for us at the Blue Bayou inside Pirates of the Carribean ride. It was so romantic and thoughtful. I ordered the Mahi Mahi,and it was delicious. RObert ordered the Seafood Jambalya, he said it was the best he ever had, so I beleived him. Then we decided to go on the rides we never go on in both theme parks and just enjoyed our time together. I love my Robert.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Save King of The Hill

Hey everyone Robert here. Bethany always says that I need to post on this thing sometime so this is what she gets if you know me you know that I love the show King of the hill, not only is Hank Hill my dad (they even look alot alike) and Peggy Hill my mom(once again they look alot alike) I guess that would make me Bobby Hill (thankfully I dont look like him) but i love this show well I found out today that the show is going to be canceled after the end of the 13th season. Why do I bring this up to you well its because I want you to sign the petition to keep it on the air here http://petitionspot.com/petitions/savekingofthehill now watch these clips.



Friday, January 23, 2009

Back to Life


Well I'm back at work. Everything has been going fine. Life is normal, except for a migraine every now and then. But things are good in our neck of the woods. Robert has started school again, 2 days a week and I am finishing up my externship with ABC and will hopefully be done this June. Robert has thought about joining the program with me. I hope he does eventually. He does really well with the dogs at the rescue and knows the info. He has been learning along with me. It would be great if we were team trainers. I got some business cards if anyone wants any to pass out and I ordered t-shirts for Robert and I to wear. So exciting! I even had my business name copyrighted. My lovely friend and hair stylist gave me extensions so I have long hair now. That's about all I have to report on.

Monday, January 12, 2009

MRI Results

Normal. Now what? I'm still in pain. I know I can always dope the pain, but honestly I want my life back not on pain killers and find out whats causing the pain.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Doctors Orders

So on my way to work this morning my migraine escalated. To bring you up to date, I have had a migraine for 7 days straight and was given a new RX. Well today seemed worse and the pain has just exhausted me. So I called my new Doctor to ask if this was normal, she told me to come in right away.

She told me that this was not typical, and that for the next 2 weeks we will need to run a series of tests to find out what's going on with my head. She told me to take a 2 week leave of absence from work and go on disability. I really hope I don't lose my job, but I can barely function with all this pain. My blood test came back normal and tomorrow I will be having an MRI and I just pray the results are normal as well.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Migraines = Memory Loss

Memory loss is real.

Migraines are real.

And both are ruining my life.

My sanity has left my head.

Friday, January 2, 2009

New Years!




New Years Eve was a good night for us. We first went to The Hat for dinner. We shared wet fries and an orange bang. The we went to The Lodge to see the KMJ Experience Band, then headed over to a friends house for good clean fun playing games and eating all the food I could fit in my stomach. We didnt get home until 1 or I really cant remember.

On New Years Day we went to the rescue ranch and worked on training the 2 new pups we have. Harley the Black Lab is so good, he learns so quickly I know he will be a great dog and will get adopted soon. Belle the brown spotted Dalmation is a bit timid and only trusts Robert. We think she may have had a traumatizing past, so Robert will continue to work with her so she isn't a "disposable dog". After the rescue we took Oscar & Link on a walk at the park. Link was a naughty boy and did not listen. Just more training is all he needs. That night we saw Marley & Me with "The Voge". It was such a good movie but so sad. We all cried, the entire theatre was in tears. I do recommend this movie, but not in a theatre. Rent and watch at home so no one else will see you burst into tears. Robert read the book, he said he cried more in the book because it goes into much more detail. Both highly recommended for the dog lover within. If you dont cry, you are heartless.