Saturday, November 28, 2009

Thank You

I wanted to say thank you to all of those who commented. A lot of them were really encouraging. It's not just pregnancy that I am having a hard time with. Having an unplanned pregnancy was just the icing on the cake, and it hasn't been an easy road.

I truly do feel M.E. is a blessing from God. I already love her so much. I know we were meant to have her at the time Heavenly Father wanted us to. It's just been a very difficult process to sometimes accept with the situation Robert and I are in.

Some days I am so depressed because I worry about how we are ever going to take care of her and give her what she deserves. It's a very humbling time for us to be pregnant, jobless, one working car, going to school, and living with my parents. It all weighs heavy on my shoulders and my constant question is "how do we get through this?"

I understand we are all different. For some women, it may be true, all they want is a baby so bad it doesn't matter what it takes. It has never been that way for me. Once I was told that getting pregnant might be difficult for me, I accepted that and moved on. I wasn't heartbroken. I knew that IF I ever wanted to be a mom, there would be a plan for me. But growing up, I didn't want to be a mom. I was afraid by my own childhood experiences. I even told people when I was like 10 that I never wanted to get married either. The road has been trying. I have a lot to be thankful for and I count my blessings, but I also stress over life and the cards it has dealt. I like being able to have a blog to vent on and receive comments from friends and family to help me realize they are truly there for me. Thanks to all of you.

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