Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Irony

We have been in California for 2 years now. Nothing has worked out for us since we have been here. Every time we saved enough money to move out of my dad's house something else comes up and the money has to go towards whatever has decided to stand in our way of freedom and independence again. Robert and I have decided to look outside of the box (aka not just focus on California to be our home) We are looking into Arizona or Texas as well. These two states felt right to settle on. Problem is, we need to save up money and get job offers to be able to move to either place. So I have taken a temporary job as a bridal consultant, working only 2 to 3 days a week. The problem is now finding someone to watch M.E. for 1 or 2 days a week for me. Saturday isn't hard because Robert has that day off and he can survive without me for 7 hours. But, I didn't think it would be like pulling to teeth just to find someone every once in a while to look after her. I just wish my mom were here, I know she would jump at the opportunity to be with M.E.

I just don't know what to do sometimes. I take a job so we can save up the money to move, but I can't take M.E. to work with me and I can't find the help that I need. What do I do? Quit my job and live at home forever?  Just pick up and move and hope for the best? I have earnestly prayed about the situation and the answer seems to be taking it's time getting delivered to me. I am at a loss. I need my mom. Or we need a job offer for Robert. Or maybe I don't know what we need. I am trying so hard to have faith, but I am also trying not to pull my hair out with anxiety.

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