Saturday, July 3, 2010

The Road to Recovery

This week has been strange and ironic for me. I don't really know where to begin. We lost Kiersten. Two years ago I lost River. My friends Josh, Jared, Tamra and I all lost nieces in the same circumstance. We have each other to talk to about our feelings and know that the other understands completely. Yesterday was Kiersten's service. Yesterday we did Temple work for River. Both events were just beautiful beyond belief. Both events made me so happy inside. Roo (Kiersten) has a family that loves her so much. They put together a lovely and overwhelmingly warm service. She deserved such a memorial. She was given to an amazing family. River was not so lucky. Her parents were sick with alcohol addiction. She was loved but probably didn't realize it. I know she felt love from us yesterday. I feel her close by me. Trying to help me heal. I have gone 2 years holding everything in and have not moved forward in this process. I need to. I need to talk it out. I need a listener. I know all of my friends will listen, but I feel like I need someone who went through the same thing in order to understand my thoughts and feelings. I also need to listen to others when they need to talk and heal. Helping others helps me heal. I think that's why I would throw myself into service projects. I love to serve. I know that I am doing good for myself and others when I serve. I want to serve the Jones family in any way I can. I know we are all children of God, and he loves us and knows each one of us. He knows our strengths and our struggles. He is there for us always. I love River. I know I will see her again, and we will embrace. And she will call me Buff, like she always did before.

1 comment:

Ryan 'n' Joy said...

So so awesome you got to do River's temple work - I am sure she was thrilled to be there with you in the temple... you are an amazing person - Love you