Since delivering M.E., I have seen my body change and these changes have really thrown me into hatred for myself. I hate my body, I hate the way my clothes look draped on my body. I hate my body without clothing on. This "new" me is repulsive. Most women gain weight after having a baby. Why didn't I? I am so skinny. Disgustingly skinny. The kind of skinny where strangers stare at you and give you the "she must have an eating disorder" look. I haven't gotten that look in 10 years. I can see my bones. I look like I don't eat. My clothes hang on me. Some women's boobage gets bigger. Mine just shriveled up and died. I don't understand what happened.
I found a protein powder mix that is gluten free, and I have been working out trying to build muscle and weight. I haven't seen any results yet, but I'm truly hoping I will soon.
Why can't I just look like a woman instead of a 10 year old boy?