Just now as I lie in bed doing some down time on my laptop, I had an instant feeling of panic. I almost gave Robert a nudge to have someone to talk to about it, but he is asleep so I wont bother him.
I started to think about M.E. and how I see a difference in her mood and behavior when I give her food containing gluten. She will be tested this coming year for Celiac Disease. I'm afraid she has it. I don't want her to have it, but I'm afraid that she does. How do I explain to a 2 year old that the other kids around her can have cookies, cupcakes, and brownies and she can't. What a miserable childhood to have to live to be told "no" when other kids are being told "yes" over birthday cake. The last thing a kid wants in life is to have to be different from everyone else and feel left out. I'm scared she wont be invited to birthday parties because she can't eat the cake (yes, some people are like that, it's been done to me). Obviously I have a lot of worries bouncing around in my head that I don't have answers to right now. I can't fix the problem that hasn't happened yet. I can't make my issues her issues and make it a bigger deal than what she is capable of knowing. I can't hover and protect her either. She will have to learn by her own will how serious and life threatening this auto immune disease can be to your body. She will feel support from some family members and feel unacknowledged by others. She will be tempted, there will be internal consequences. My job is to be an example. Strong. Never even considering the temptation. She is my reason to live. I love M.E. I want to give her a healthy life. I suppose I just want to be prepared when this day does come.