Thursday, December 29, 2011

Random Feeling of Panic

Just now as I lie in bed doing some down time on my laptop, I had an instant feeling of panic. I almost gave Robert a nudge to have someone to talk to about it, but he is asleep so I wont bother him.
I started to think about M.E. and how I see a difference in her mood and behavior when I give her food containing gluten. She will be tested this coming year for Celiac Disease. I'm afraid she has it. I don't want her to have it, but I'm afraid that she does. How do I explain to a 2 year old that the other kids around her can have cookies, cupcakes, and brownies and she can't. What a miserable childhood to have to live to be told "no" when other kids are being told "yes" over birthday cake. The last thing a kid wants in life is to have to be different from everyone else and feel left out. I'm scared she wont be invited to birthday parties because she can't eat the cake (yes, some people are like that, it's been done to me). Obviously I have a lot of worries bouncing around in my head that I don't have answers to right now. I can't fix the problem that hasn't happened yet. I can't make my issues her issues and make it a bigger deal than what she is capable of knowing. I can't hover and protect her either. She will have to learn by her own will how serious and life threatening this auto immune disease can be to your body. She will feel support from some family members and feel unacknowledged by others. She will be tempted, there will be internal consequences. My job is to be an example. Strong. Never even considering the temptation. She is my reason to live. I love M.E. I want to give her a healthy life. I suppose I just want to be prepared when this day does come.

2 comments:

Shelly said...

Don't worry about it until you absolutely get a diagnosis. She will grow up with a healthy diet and an appreciation of differences because of you, regardless of whether she is diagnosed or not. The good thing is this is an age where schools, birthday parties, airlines, etc. have to be more understanding and accommodating of dietary needs. The sad part is that some people don't care or respect others. And some people don't care what they put in their mouths (LOL! Just go to Costco and see what's in their carts). Don't let it depress you. Be happy that you have the knowledge and desire to care for M.E. no matter if her diet is gluten-free or not.

Sierra said...

I realize your post was forever ago, but I wanted you talk to you any way. My cousin is 12 and just found out she has Celiac Disease and has been trying some of the food on your other blog. Thank you for helping her. Also my little baby (19months old) is allergic to dairy as we have just found out. It is difficult to tell him he can't have the string cheese like his sister or ice cream like brother, but it has been a month now and I think it is better that this happened while he is younger because it is easier for him to learn his life style. After just a month, he no longer grabs the gallon of milk before bed, he goes for the soy... She will be great no matter what because you have taught her to be.