Monday, April 21, 2014

Living In My Own Closet

First of all, the title of this post is not what you may assume. I am not gay. But, I do believe we all have a closet we are either living in, coming out of, or going back in. I believe we all hide something about us that we don't want others to know, aren't comfortable with others knowing, or feel it's no one's business to know. We all struggle with a part of life that may be hard to come to terms with.

Like the title states, 'Living In My Own Closet', I struggle with my own demons, temptations, and feelings about life that may not coincide with my beliefs. And that's okay. It's okay, because I am human. I am supposed to struggle. I am supposed to be tempted. I am supposed to be faced with trials. And it is up to me to fight for my plan of salvation. You see, I made a choice against my temptations and demons, and married my amazing husband in The Temple of The Lord of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We started a family together, and made covenants (promises) with our Heavenly Father to be an eternal family. A family that can be together, forever. Never to be broken apart. My husband will always be my husband, and my daughters will always be my daughters. Even after this life is over.

But, just because I was married in The Temple and have a forever family does not mean I don't struggle. I do. Everyday. My struggles can be painful at times. Physically and mentally. Everyday, I fight this trial. I fight it because I am responsible for other lives that are much more important than an urge I want to act on. And I know, in the long run, being a family forever is much more rewarding and full of happiness than acting on any urge that will only bring a temporary enjoyment that I will later regret. My husband and my children are my eternal happiness.

Sometimes, people think that being LDS (Mormon) means we all have to fit a certain mold. That is simply not true. The Gospel of Christ is perfect, people (even LDS people) are not perfect. We are all just trying to take one day at a time, living the best we know how. And everyday we can choose to progress or digress in our choices. I made the choice to progress, not just for myself, but for my beautiful family. There is no mold. There is only keeping the covenants we made. Do many of us look the same? Yeah. I don't have an answer for that. Maybe the majority of us shop at the same stores. Does that mean I have to or you have to? No. But, that's not what's important. What's important is that you make a choice everyday to progress in your family, work, schooling, faith, etc.

I believe in my faith. I believe in Christ. I believe he died for my demons, struggles, temptations and trials. I believe I will struggle the rest of my life. I believe that I can overcome each day with faith. And if I fall? I believe that Heavenly Father is patient with me. I believe he is patient with all of us. I believe he loves us all, no matter what. That's what a Father should do with all his children; love them and be patient. I know he loves me and knows me personally, and that I can rely on him anytime.

Like I said before, everyone has a closet. Be patient with them. Do not judge them. Just love them as you would want to be loved. Give them hope and support in their trials. Yes, they may fall, but you should still love them and be patient with them. Some people's struggle is more severe and painful than others, but that does not exclude them from being loved by God or by anyone else. It does not mean that Christ didn't die for their trials and struggles. Accept them as a child of God - because that is who we all are.

Maybe, one day, I will open up my closet and let many in, but as for now it is my own and I am not willing to share. I share with those that I feel need to hear they are not alone - but the whole world is not welcome to my business.

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